Firstly, I would like to dedicate this post to a very dear friend of mine. She said it to me time and time again, but it never really stuck until I was beaten(mostly mentally and emotionally) over and over again until it seeped into my head. So, thank you Tina. You're a bitch and I luv ya for it. You're one of the few real people left in this world.

For almost the entirety of my life, I have played the role of Mr. Nice Guy. Despite some of my actions, almost every decision I make in life is one where I try to make everyone happy. This is problem #1 with Mr. Nice Guy: Trying to please everyone. It is impossible. Actions cause reactions. Actions and reactions have consequences, and in most situations, there are always conflicting opinions, stances, whatever. This is just the way it is and you cannot please everyone. Shit, you could be the most influential person around and still not have everyone agree with you. Even if they agreed with you, they may agree MORE with someone else. Example? Take democracy. Yes, it's on a much larger scale, but no matter how hard a candidate may try to please everyone, there are always going to be people either opposed to that candidates thoughts OR they are more in favor of another.

Real life example?
Okay. Mr X is a very nice person but likes to have the attention of whoever they are talking to or else they get extremely frustrated. Mr Y is exactly the same. However, when Ms Z tries to please Mr X, Mr Y gets annoyed, and vice versa. Ms Z can try as she will to please them both, but in the end she won't have time to make herself happy.

This leads to my next point. Problem #2 with Mr. Nice Guy - Putting everyone else first. At first, you may think this is chivalrous, in a way. Sure, at times it is. But the typical Mr. Nice Guy will do it time and time again, despite being entirely detrimental to his own wellbeing or efforts. Example? Mr A, the nice guy, is hungry. He goes to a store and sees the last sandwich, egg and mayo, his favorite. Mr B is hungry and sees the final sandwich. Mr A purchases the sandwich and Mr B looks at him, disappointed. Mr A feels bad for him and decides to buy something else so that Mr B could have the sandwich. Mr A just lost a chance at doing something for himself, in favor of another, just because he's "nice".

This can go to even more extremes, such as taking the fall for someone else. Admirable as it may be, if you do it, you just screwed yourself over for someone else's mistake.

Probably by now you're thinking, "wow, this sounds so selfish". Is it selfish? Maybe. But imagine living your life doing things that will benefit everyone else, rarely doing anything that YOU enjoy doing. You may be thinking "oh what about all those missionaries?" Well, they obviously CHOSE to sacrifice their own wellbeing for the wellbeing of others. I'm sure that as many guys there are out there in our world that love to be the nice guy, they often do it without thinking of themselves first. Missionaries knew the sacrifice they were making when they go and do what they do. Anyway, onto my next point.

Problem #3 with Mr. Nice Guy - Helping others. I remember a time in high school when I was swamped with work. This sounds normal, right? Sure, if it were all my own. But it wasn't. I often gave up my own time to help others, sacrificing my time I should be spending on my own assignments and homework. I recall one night staying up helping 2 or 3 people at once, and not finishing my assignment until 5.30am the next morning. Might sound normal for uni students, but it definitely isn't something a high school student should be needing to do. Seriously, the biggest ever essay a teacher in high school ever threw at you was 2000 words. This entry alone is already 2/5 of the way there, and typed in less than 30mins. Don't get me wrong. If I can help others, I will, but not at my own costs.

Problem #4 with Mr. Nice Guy - Being walked on. Yes, this is similar to problem #2 and #3, but it involves the other party. If someone finds out you're a nice person and they like to get ahead, they CAN and they WILL use you. The worst part is, you may not even notice it until they start to overdo it. Even then, you won't have the balls to say anything. Which leads to my next point. One of Mr. Nice Guy's worst enemies can be one of their own friends. Sad, isn't it? Ever been guilt tripped? Sure, you feel bad that you can't do whatever it is that needs to be done, but you may know when to say no. Mr. Nice Guy doesn't understand the meaning of the word NO when someone guilt trips you. It's always yes yes yes yes.

Problem #5 with Mr. Nice Guy - You lack balls. You want to say something, but you can't. Why? Because it will upset someone. Having a natural concern for others is all well and good, but if something needs to be said, it should be. There are times when you need to say something but are scared of the consequences. You know, fuck the consequences! Stand up for yourself.

Problem #6 with Mr. Nice Guy - HANDBAGGED! This is a problem that only applies to one sex: the opposite of Mr. Nice Guy. (Despite being referred to as Mr. Nice Guy, there are Ms. Nice Girls too) The opposite sex will treat you like (you guessed it!) a handbag. You will carry their bags when you go shopping. You will drive them everywhere without even thinking about how far you're going just to help them, no matter how short the destination is away from them. You will help them with just about anything you can and YOU WILL GET FRIEND ZONED.

Friend zone? WTF is that? If you don't know what the friend zone is, you're either extremely good looking, have never been rejected or have never tried to get into a relationship. Or you're just plain dumb. I hope it isn't the last one. Friend zone, for those ignorant among us, is the dark place you go to when your heart only has one person in it, but to them, you're just that person they talk to and keep around for convenience. Is being friend zoned bad? I don't think it is at all. Unless it happens over and over and over and over and over again. Then you're in trouble.

I can't speak for women (obviously because I am not one, nor am I gay), but women (in the perspective of a guy / lesbian chasing them), and probably men(perspective of women / gay guy chasing them) too, want what they can't have. It's a natural fact of life. If you offer everything to the person you're interested from the start, they're unlikely to have any interest in you because there is no CHALLENGE. Let's be honest here. Everyone LOVES the chasing part of a relationship. When you don't know what the other is thinking. When you're hoping that your feelings aren't one sided. When you think about them and smile and hope that they do too. When you take that person out somewhere and you feel really nervous because you don't know what to say and hope that the other person breaks the awkward silence so you can talk. Or perhaps it's quite the opposite, and you both love talking to each other and want to get to know more.

I'm sure everyone has at least experienced some form of the chase. And to many, the chase ends when one (usually the male) gives in to "beating around the bush" and decides to ask her to be his girlfriend. Anyone who has had the other person answer yes will understand how much happiness they would have felt at that point. If you didn't feel overwhelmingly happy when you asked and they replied with yes, they either weren't that hard to chase, or you really don't feel what you should be feeling and you asked them out just for the sake of having a partner. In all honesty, I'm sure many of you who read this will know that I haven't really experienced this feeling of euphoria so maybe my words are incorrectly placed, but hey! I'm a real life example of Mr. Nice Guy always losing. One day, perhaps.

A short summary.
1. Making Everyone Happy
2. Always Finish Last
3. Helping Others
4. Being Walked On
5. Lacking Balls
6. HANDBAGGED / FRIEND ZONED

So, in the end, you're probably asking. Alex, are you going to become a complete asshole now? My answer to that is 'likely'. However, as much as I may say that... It's probably already been burnt into me. My character, who I am, the way I naturally act is to always put others first. Will I lose friends over this? Maybe. But hey, if you only liked me because I did everything for you and won't accept me as someone who wants to do something for myself, then fuck you. Those that deserve my kindness will receive it. But I'll say it here. No more Mr. Nice Guy.

TL;DR - Nice guys finish last